Repost: How to Manage Your Anger

I posted this on my multiply account years ago, and i think this still can be useful for some people :)

Yesterday, I learned how to manage my anger, and then i tried to make it into a meaningful writings.

Hopefully this can be useful for everyone!

What I learn first is, if you are angry, don’t act pronto. You have to calm yourself first. As my friend once said in his notes, “everything is ugly when you are angry.” When you’re angry, you just can’t think clearly and objectively. You only focus to the cause of your anger, without think why and how that can happened. Really, this is very important. Don’t act pronto.

Second is, while you calm yourself, you can think and rethink about the cause of your anger. Besides of “How could he/she?”, you also have to think “Why he/she did that?” or “What is the reason he/she did that?” and “How this can be happened?” and so on. You have to think as clearly and objectively as you can. By knowing or at least wondering about the reason of the cause of your anger, you will have a clue about the main problem. Sometimes, the main problem may be trivial or not important at all. So, this second step is also very important to do. You have to be sure you have clear and objective point of view.

The third step is, after you done think and rethink as clearly and objectively as you can, you can do something to fix it. There are two choices: fix your problem or fix your emotion. That will be better if you fix your problem first. But sometimes, there are the cause of anger which is too unimportant to talk about you will be shame. If so, you only have one choice, and that is fix your emotion. Tell the person how you feel about what he/she has done. Or you can ask the reason why has he/she done that, if you like. It’s up to you. The point is, you have see the situation with objective glasses, so the probability of regret your reaction to your anger will be lessen.